Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
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the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
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That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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