I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
