So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
