Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
