Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
