I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize