its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
