Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
