Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
