what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
