he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
