what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
