I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize