The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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