You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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