Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
