Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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