i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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