Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
