i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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