I hate all girls vehemently.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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