I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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