He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
