My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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