remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
