This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
