he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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