After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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