There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
