i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
