Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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