pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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