New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
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Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
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I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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