Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize