Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
