Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
