were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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