beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
