Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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