In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
