I must be too annoying 4 u.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
