dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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