this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
