a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
