Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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