I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
