I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
