Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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