Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
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I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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