his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
