yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
