We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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