the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
