i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
