I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
