I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
