Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
