Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
