You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.