You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
