Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
