turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
