wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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