I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Too much gin, very little bucket
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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