Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
