My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
