remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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