there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
