Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
